Chat, is This My Quarter Life Crisis?
On Tuesday morning I ran a “fartlek”, which is a Scandinavian term that loosely translates to “speed play.” I felt like a kid again, feeling the hot sun beat down on my shoulders as I picked my feet up to run at an all out pace. The faster I ran, the longer the space became between my thoughts. In that moment my singular focus was to finish my run. I ran even faster than I thought I could, I cooled down with a short jog to Baba’s for a celebratory matcha (iced, oatmilk, and cinnamon syrup is my new hyperfixation) and called my mom.
Quickly, feelings of anxiety and fear set in as we began to talk about jobs. It’s not my mom’s fault at all, she’s my biggest cheerleader. Her belief in me is so great, so enormous, that she reminds me of this tiktok trend constantly.
Really, it’s the voice in my head that’s working against me, putting an immense pressure on myself to have everything figured out. I took a sip of my matcha and came to; my fears, clouding my judgement beginning to dissipate. “What am I even saying? I graduated college one week ago.”
I came across this Atlantic article on Wednesday, which encouraged this post. A little over a month ago I redownloaded the Nike Run Club app and ran my first 5k in over a year. As I reached the end of my senior year of college with no job prospects, no real “plan”, and what felt like one thousand automated rejection emails, I felt a sense of disorientation that has compounded since my graduation. Is this my quarter life crisis? Was I supposed to pick a different hobby?
One month ago, my biggest worry was something getting in the way of my graduation. If I’m being honest, every day since has felt like…“okay, what now?” No one told me this next portion of life would feel like a run-on sentence (no pun intended).
Like many of the people featured in the article, taking up running has given me the sense of control that I need in a time where I feel chronically uninspired and a touch insecure.
Since then, I’ve upgraded to a running belt, developing a slight addiction to LMNT (not sponsored but if you find this…don’t hesitate to send me some), and tomorrow I’m running my first 5k race to benefit MUSC Children’s Health. Oh, and I signed up for my first half marathon in October. In the last six weeks I’ve ran over 50 miles - and I know that my fears are not going away anytime soon, but they’re not out to chase me either. Maybe I’m just running alongside these feelings until I figure out my next move. I hope this resonates with someone, recently graduated or not - we’re in this together and we’re going to figure it out!
I’ll leave you with these, and hopefully some more inspiring words after my race:
my running playlist which is a great blend of some moody folk, EDM, Taylor Swift, and you didn’t think I forgot Temperature by Sean Paul, did you?
this podcast by Nike Run Club Coach Chris Bennett